The Bible talks about being sharpened by iron friends. - 'As iron sharpens iron,
so a friend sharpens a friend.' - Proverbs 27:17
The world is continually dulling our ‘edge’, thats for all of us. That is to say it is blunting our wisdom, wit, zeal for righteousness etc. Life takes its toll!
This is why the Bible has a good bit to say about having GOOD friends, especially in Proverbs.
A wet lettuce friend will not urge you to live your best God honouring life. They will encourage the easy way, the wide road. Dulling, not sharpening your edge. They want comfort before Kingdom. They will even help you see that your sin, though obvious in the Bible, is not really that bad and God will turn a blind eye to it. They will say, 'well you need to be happy'. Which of course is true but true happiness comes from a life submitted to God. What is even more upsetting is that when the crap hits the fan, which is does from time to time, they will easily scatter. They don’t keep you and protect you😢 these are talked about as unreliable - 'One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.' - Proverbs 18:24
A few years ago I had a larger number of wet lettuce mates than I realised... When my I was in need and having marital problems, wet lettuces were a significant hinderance. I even had it in family members. They were too wet and too weak to say the hard, but loving things to both of us and to honour marriage. These unreliable friends of ours in fact encouraged my wife to carry on living a life outside of what was best for her, our daughter or that honoured God... the mantra being 'if it makes you happy'. The same people said to me that I should 'move on' and 'find a way to be happy'. These are regrettably not iron friends.
Wet lettuce friends promote comfort before kingdom
Staying sharp requires friends with resolve, grit, strength. People who contend for righteousness and goodness. These are friends who will promote you to take up the concerns of the marginalised. These iron friends will champion you to live your best, NOT easiest life. They will bring encouragement, but not hot air, they will remind you that your are a son/daughter of God, called to rule and reign. Iron friends will implore us not to give in to the temptations of the world but to surrender only to God's rule. I decided a few years ago not to spend time with people who don't publicly celebrate me. I don't mean this in some weird sycophant to inflate you ego, I do mean they want to be seen alongside you and as your supporter and friend. I had a number of friends even family members who I noticed would post on instagram about everything else but would not post about when we were together. Likewise I have friends who have ministries that would want me to promote them but not champion anything I was doing. I decided to be more proactive in pruning these friendships back, that is to say that I don't give much of myself in to these relationships anymore. Choose who you give your most valuable resource too. Do not squander time on those whom treat you cheaply!
King David had an iron friend in Jonathan. This was an unlikely pairing and naturally they would have been potentially bitter rivals for the crown. However, their relationship was a deep, special and fiercely loyal. God often brings the most unlikely people alongside you. Over the past few years I have had a great friendship with a guy called Scot. He would listen as I went on my pain going through divorce, he would cheer me up with great banter, he is great with my daughter who thinks he is ace and if anyone messed me about he would punch them straight in the face lol. I had known him a while but suddenly he became one one my only friends but a great friend. Another few great friends are pastors of different churches in Nottingham, Andy and Becky and Dave and Lizzie, they have been consistent sources of encouragement, challenge and faith building just like Julian and Libby pastors in Lincoln. My experience has been the ones you expect to stand with you often don't and it is surprising when the battle is on who is lined up with you. Even if you do something stupid and are in a world of pain they don't let you do stupid things alone. They will stick with you.
Doing life with iron friends can be a bit bumpy at times, especially whilst we are figuring out if they are really for us. However, when we know we can trust them it provides us with a great source of council. 'Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.' - Proverbs 27:5-6
These are iron friends. 💪🏼🙌🏼
Iron friends say good things behind your back and hard things to your face.
Ask yourself:
Who is an iron friend
Who am I an iron friend too?
What relationship should I invest in so that they can become an iron friend
Finally iron friends are those mentioned elsewhere in proverbs 18:24 - One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. This to me is one of the most important thing about friendship. Loyalty. I give it 100% and I expect it. My friends know that I will go to war for them, and that no matter what when or how if they shout I am coming. This kind of friendship gives you strength. I love Apostle Peter. When the soldiers came for Jesus in the garden to arrest Him it is Peter who starts swinging and chops a dude's ear off. Often preachers will say something a bit patronising, 'well Peter missed the point and was wrong to resort to violence' bla bla. Really that's a load of crap. If you are in a tight spot, especially as tight as this one and people are coming to kill you, you want friends like Peter!!! Jesus would have appreciated Peter's defence. We all would! As it happens, Jesus had a higher agenda and so in this instance He wanted to be taken. He also used it to make the obvious point to the fiery Peter that if you are quick on the drawer you will die that way. Nevertheless, we should all pray and seek out Peters in our lives.
You may or may not have any iron friends right now. They will be the ones who will cause you some friction at times. It is inevitable if you consider the above. However, these are the ones who will keep you 'sharp'. They will ask you difficult but straight questions and spur you to do better and be better.
My hope is that you have Iron men and iron women in your life to sharpen you. ⚡️ If you do, maybe right now is a good time to celebrate them! Give them a public shout out on social media, drop them a message etc. ❤️
Big love ❤️
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. - Proverbs 27:17
#ironsharpensiron #ironman #ironwoman #friends #friendship #encouragement #brotherhood #sisterhood #brothers #sisters #church #discipleship #proverbs #proverbs27
Comments