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jossnicholas

Barbie Movie Review - it's BBQ time!

Updated: Aug 30, 2023

The Barbie film released this summer staring Margot Robbie is massive, with its marketing budget alone dwarfing many films full production budget. So cards on the table, I saw it, it wasn't my first choice but I honestly thought it was going to be fun, tongue in cheek and some clever quips etc. NOPE!! I'm not being cynical to be provocative for the sake of it, but like many I emerged several hours later wondering what the hype was about. I was left wondering how such a painfully unintelligent, unhumorous and scarily sexist film could make it to the screen...?!


So, I will temper my frustrations to avoid ranting and try to explain why I thought this film sucked more than any I have seen for a long time and give it a bit of a roasting. As always I will be speaking from my Christian perspective and importantly as a westerner. Tip; if you read any of what follows as 'anti women' you have not read it right so read again!!


Barbie Movie Review

The premise is that Barbies rule Barbie-world and everything is perfect. The men, 'Kens', are a subservient second class who have no real function. Straight out the gate the jokes are on them as they are portrayed as simple minded and something to be laughed at as they argue about 'beaching each other off'. It gets worse. Barbie becomes in some way more self aware and wants to explore the 'real world' and so leaves Barbie-land with a stowaway Ken. Upon reaching the 'real world' she finds to her horror that it is a run by the patriarchy and overflowing with misogyny. Obviously lol. Ken is overjoyed that the men have value and decides that Barbie-land needs to be changed to a patriarchy too. The Barbie corp, Mattel, is run by a board of all men, but not normal men, these are delinquent sexists. They along with every other male character do not poses one single positive character trait. The rest of the film is about Ken returning to Barbie land to upend the status quo and make it a male dominated society, while Barbie is left to find the meaning of being a woman and then to return and thwart the Kens' plans and restore proper order. Which is matriarchal control over everything.


The film focuses its message that in the real world men control everything, treat women horrifically, objectifying and belittling them at every turn. There is meant to be a sort of rousing monologue by one of the main female human characters in the middle of the film which was a lazy, patronising punch in the frontal lobe. The single purpose of the yawn inducing list was to claim not one or two victim cards, but assemble an entire deck of victimhood top trumps. Body image, career, motherhood, age and so on. Not that these don't exist obviously. However, there are so many ridiculous things about the list of complaints. Firstly it can be switched to men and be largely applicable in the same way. Secondly much of the long diatribe is pretty obvious and even largely good sense! in fact, let's explore it below and you can see for yourself!


It is literally impossible to be a woman. (Well only if you're a man, otherwise you were born that way with no effort on your part whatsoever!). You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong. (news flash, everyone is pressured to be extraordinary and everyone thinks they are failing)

You have to be thin, but not too thin. (yes don't be fat, male and female) And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. (correct, be healthy, men have the same pressures, just see the ripped Kens in the film, you could say men have it harder as they are ridiculed for being thin too, they must be muscular) You have to have money, (yeah it's useful, male & female, only men are assessed by women based on finance in a way women are not by men) but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass.(well it is a bit yes) You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. (yes this is obvious and applies to both sexes) You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas.(again this is obvious and applies to both sexes) You’re supposed to love being a mother, (fathers too, yes) but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. (well i guess 'ALL the time' is boring for people not at that stage of life or who cant have kids etc) You have to be a career woman, (no, this is pretty flexible for women actually, applies more to men) but also always be looking out for other people. (yes be a good human, both sexes) You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, (not sure about this general swipe... think it was just to bulk out the speech) which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. (this whole film is hours of complaining) You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, (your man, yes, and the same applies for men for their woman) but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. (again yes don't dress to impress other people's partners, or flirt, standard good behaviour, we ALL know what this looks like and it is easy to see a persons intentions, both men and women) But always stand out and always be grateful. (not sure about stand out but yes again men and women who have a sense of gratitude are much nicer to be around) But never forget that the system is rigged. (by who in what way? The men cleaning sewers, the men committing suicide, the men who struggle to see their children...? in what way?) So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. (?? brain fart) You have to never get old, (well everyone's been trying to stay young since the dawn of time, male and female) never be rude, (um yup, std for everyone) never show off, (again std for everyone) never be selfish, (again std for everyone) never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. (well again I think many people try to keep it together, I would point out that women tend to find ways to discuss hardships, failures etc more successfully and easily than men. Which is better and something men are getting better at) It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! (Yeah it is called life) And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. (applies to everyone in the world except sociopaths) And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.


I will be honest this vomit inducing monologue by Gloria made me actually angry. I have a 5yr old girl, she is smart, funny and I hate that lobotomised fembots want to fill her head with victimhood. Most of the women in my life have been highly driven and successful people. Even in the face of adversity. My mother had her own company when she met my dad and then took a step from paid work to focus her full time on raising 3 kids, me and my two younger sisters. When we were all in school she stepped back in to the workplace and then finished out her working life last year as owner of her own hotel and being the primary lead. My sisters both are mothers one took a few more years to be full time caring for her kids but both have successful careers too. My ex-wife was a highly successful business woman who earned far more than I did. Many of my girl friends run their own companies or have successful careers or do a bit of both alongside motherhood. The idea that women are struggling and under the cosh is just not true. Everyone, men and women face significant obstacles in life. Both sexes can face unrealistic societal expectations however, the largest expectations are often the ones we place on ourselves from watching too many peoples highlights on instagram and listening to nonsense on TV. I understand that the film will resonate with how women feel, I can see the challenges and understand why women feel 'heard' and 'seen' etc by this film's narrative. What I detest is turning that understanding of life's challenges and saying it is men's fault which I will explore further later so as not to keep repeating.


The irony of the film is beyond ridiculous, it would be the funniest thing about the film, if it wasn't so blinkered to its own stupidity. Just think about how oppressed women are by the patriarchy that Barbie is portraying:

A mostly female cast of hugely successful women, all female leads, in a film written and directed by a woman and produced by a mix of men and women. A film which is about an invention of a worldwide renown product by a woman, the same woman who was already the president of a huge corporation where she led for 30 yrs. (Yes she led Matel, the one the film portrays as an all male led misogynistic hell on earth, except in the real world the board is about 50/50 split) A film backed with hundres of millions of pounds/dollars. This all to make a film which has it's purpose in portraying women as victims in the 'real world' with constant jibes about men and pushing a narrative that evil men are running the world. It is so obviously incongruent with reality. If it were true then this film would simply not exist, period. Any free thinking person should be able to work that out for themselves surely?


The film's writer Greta Gerwig said 'It most certainly is a feminist film.". So as can be expected, many buzz words lambasted around these days spill out throughout the film like verbal diarrhoea such as 'patriarchy'. Let us please understand the greek derived word from antiquity simply means 'rule of the father' to denote the male headship of families. It wasn't evil in anyway just an adjective to describe the male head of a family. However, the term is used nowadays to give language to an imaginary world created by feminists where women are ruled by an abusive male world order. Like much of the sad sexist movement of feminism patriarchy is smeared as evil, in a way a matriarchy certainly isn't. Which just FYI is identical in meaning except meaning 'mothers rule' or 'ruling mother'. The term does not even mean men and women. It means parents, within a family structure. Unlike the attack on men I don't want it to assassinate the matriarchs and campaign for their deconstruction. I love and honour my mum, nanna and sisters. Also as a Christian (remember this is a Bible focused perspective) we are commanded, not requested, to honour our mother and father, that is honour patriarchs and matriarchs. Literally!!! We are used to seeing this constant lambasting of men with masculinity a dirty word in todays society, with phrases like toxic masculinity. Toxic behaviour is never to be tolerated but constantly saying men are toxic is not good, fair or true. The film's feminist make believe obsession of 'the patriarchy' is fixed only by women ruling everything. Not equal opportunities with both Barbies and Kens honouring one another and finding ways to celebrate each others strengths, that's not the feminist agenda after all! The Barbies ruling everything in Barbie land is how the film ends.

One of the lies of the patriarchy myth is that men have ruled for millenia. Men haven't. In the same way as all women aren't prostitutes. Sure women have prostituted for as long as we have record, but I don't suggest all women are! The few rule, not all, but mostly they have been men. That doesn't mean men rule, there are a few billion of us, most are labouring hard trying to make it work, many are slaves, many are fixing your toilet, mowing your lawn, fixing a computer or whatever. It is not sexy or glamorous and we are not in some secret club who is winning at the cost of women.


So why do I passionately dislike this movie? It is not its incoherent plot or flat humour, I detest pitching men and women against each other. I love women. Moreover, men and women love each other, it is what we see in every single culture around the world. Men and women choosing to live together in loving matrimony bringing up families facing the hardships of life as a united front. As christians the Bible teaches that we are created to help each other and that God designed men and women to join together to become 'one flesh'. UNITED! Sure life is hard on women, life is hard on us all, can we not agree that it is hard to be a human?!


There is joy found though in celebrating differences and championing each other. The idea that men rule everything is not true, I am one, I 'rule' very little, ask your bother, dad, spoouse if he is ruling the world and everything happens as he wants!! It is a ridiculous notion. The fact that the majoirty of world leaders are men does not place men in charge. It means those people are in charge. In the UK we have had total control by women with a Queen until very recently and female prime ministers at times. Other countries have female heads of state including some of the most powerful in the world. Trying to increase division between the sexes and hatred of men doesn't end with 'winners and losers', it ends with 'losers and losers'. The truth is that the only real 'losers' are those who see the world as if it were a constant war in the first place.


My real hope is that women when they consider the men in their lives; fathers, sons, brothers, partners would find the idea of them all being out to oppress them and hurt them a repulsive one. My heart is that instead of joining in with the trend of age in bashing and labelling men as the root of all evil they would want to celebrate them as they are loved and honoured.


I think parents should be very cautious of allowing their kids to see this film, especially without wise counsel before hand. Any film that blatantly bashes either sex, lies and twists reality to fit a dark agenda. Inciting women to distrust men and worse see men as the reason for all of their problems is pretty horrendous. Encourage discernment to trust those who prove to be trustworthy! I could muster maybe a half star for the set and costume design... but even that is pushing it!


Can you imagine if there was a film made doing this to women...?


I believe that this world needs the kingdom culture voiced in the Bible which talks about equality and complimentary strengths. As believers it is right to find ways to love and show appreciation for each other including the opposite sex.


IMO the most fun thing about the movie is taking your picture in one of the 'barbie boxes' at cinemas. So my tip; go to the cinema take a few fun pictures and then go watch Oppenheimer.


Much love ❤️



Few recent conversations:

I was chatting to a friend 2 weeks ago who broke her phone on holiday she said that men helped her out because she was lost and she was a bit scared. She described an older man cycling for miles ahead of her car so she could find her way. She said, I know this was because I was a woman and he wanted to help and make sure I was ok. Sure, there are shitty humans, men and women, but the reality is most of the time men and women love, respect and help each other out as much as they can.


One of my best friends C who is one of the senior leaders in my church. She was an officer in the army and in active service near Kabul when their convoy was attacked. Her own telling of the story is very important. She says she saw first hand that it wasn't good for a woman to be in that position. Why? Because all the men were more concerned with protecting her than following strictly the most effective engagement. She says that extra men were badly injured, purely because they were trying to protect her. C is a highly successful senior in the NHS as well as a mother. Men are not toxic, toxic people are. Men in the vast majority of cases will run to help a woman. To constantly attack that and despise men is not kingdom, it's not honouring and it should be challenged.




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